Home again, home again...

          I'm back! Did you miss me? We had a lot of fun in North Carolina with Hubby's family, even though instead of snow we got a warm front and torrential downpours. I also managed to come down with my "once a year severe winter cold" almost as soon as we arrived at our destination. I spent all of Christmas day on Nyquil, therefore only partially aware of what was going on that day. Still, I managed to have a really great time and got to know my sister-in-laws a lot better.

          Just a side note to gloat about the greatest, most thoughtful husband in the world: Hubby has got to be the world's greatest gifter. For Christmas this year he actually tracked down and bought me a US 1st Edition of The Adventures of Peter Pan and Wendy, which just so happens to be my favorite book of all time. I was stunned. I think it's really cool when someone puts that much thought into a gift =0)

          In other news, I'm preparing to go to part-time this week. I've met with several people to discuss what my new hours will be like and what aspects of the ministry I have to cut out and what things I need to encourage volunteers to take on. I think my biggest concern was the most easily resolved of them all. We decided that we really needed to find someone who could take on the role of Sunday School Coordinator and the very first person I talked to agreed to do it with no questions asked. It was such a burden off my shoulders and has made preparing for this transition a lot more bearable than it might have been. I have a lot of hope that things are going to turn around this year. Please keep praying for us =0)

Counting down...

          This is my last full work day before I go on vacation next week. Tomorrow I only have to set up for our Happy Birthday Jesus party (which will take an hour, tops!) and on Sunday, once we've finished cleaning up from the party (which should be around noon or 1) I will be a free woman! Whoopee! We don't leave till Tuesday morning, but Monday is my one day off a week, so I will treasure it and treat myself to some hot cocoa, a fire in the fireplace, and some Christmas classics...as soon as I've packed of course. I think Hubby and I are the best last-minute packers in the world. It always amazes me how we can procrastinate till the very last possible moment, and then still remember everything we need (except that one time Hubby forgot our pillows when we went camping...). Besides the pillow incident, the worst thing we've ever forgotten was toothpaste (though we remembered the toothbrushes, go figure!) and there are always a million places to get that. Do us both a favor and pray fervently with us that there will be snow in the mountains of North Carolina while we are there. Hubby and I seriously have not seen snow for more than 5 years! It's a tragedy! So please God! Let there be SNOW!!! 

Where can I go to scream?

          I love my job. I love kids. I love God. And I love serving. Sometimes, however, I just want to scream. Maybe that's one of the reasons I started this blog, so when things got really frustrating and I just needed to "let it all out" I could do so without actually damaging anyone's eardrums. The budget cuts at our church, as well as the direction that leadership is heading (with the exception of the pastor) has got me wanting to go somewhere far far away and just scream. Grrr! Lately, when I'm stopped at a long light or something in my car, by myself, I've taken to screaming about as loud as I can without anyone in any of the other cars hearing me. I wonder, did any of those heroes of the Bible ever wanted to do that? When I read the book of John it often sounds like Jesus was on the verge, in fact he just came out and said he was fed up with people a lot of the time. I don't believe I could get away with that, so I'll stick to my solitary screaming to get my frustrations out for now. Please keep praying for me. I know the blog has taken a kind of negative turn in the last week or so, but this too shall pass. 

          In the mean time, Hubby and I are really excited because in only a matter of days we will be on our way to visit his family in North Carolina for Christmas! I am really looking forward to seeing my in-laws again, since its been over a year and a half since I've been with most of them, including my nephews. In fact, this will be the first time Hubby and I have ever seen our new niece who is now over a year old! We also get to hang out with my father-in-laws new Doberman puppy. I just can't wait! I wish we could leave right now =0)

Merry Christ-mas!!!

          So today is the final day of our Charlie Brown movie Holiday marathon that began in October with It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown. Tonight we're going to eat some snicker-doodles, bake some sugar cookies, drink some hot cocoa, and top it all off with the greatest Christmas movie of all time-Charlie Brown Christmas. I love this one above all the other holiday favorites and Charlie Brown films, because not only does it center around my favorite holiday and my favorite characters, it is all about the TRUE TRUE TRUE meaning for Christmas, and finding joy and peace in all the hustle and bustle and commercialism that seems to have sprung up around this most holy of days. So many Christmas movies focus on family and togetherness as the real reasons for celebrating, but they miss the biggest reason of all. Family and togetherness are great and very important, I think, in honoring Christ's birth, but even that seems to push Jesus to the back burner in a lot of people's minds. It's amazing how even seemingly good things can take our attention off our Savior. My father-in-law probably could (and would) preach a whole sermon on how the enemy can even use good things to take us away from true worship. So this year, don't forget to tell the ones you love that you care, but most importantly, don't forget to tell the One who loves you with an everlasting love that you are grateful and that you love Him too.

Meow!

          Can I just post cute cat pictures all day? Maybe I should change the title of this blog to "Stories from a Cat's Human" or something and just talk about my cat all the time. Honestly, I would never runt out of things to talk about. I've considered off and on making my own online comic all about my goofy cat, but I'm too lazy to sit down and draw it. So, since I can't post cute kitty cat pictures all day, I can at least post a few today. Hope they make you smile =0)

Back to my roots

          So, always trying to look on the bright side of things, I've decided that the new direction my life has taken, namely being cut to half-time, will be a great opportunity to get back into my art. I went to school for fine arts, specifically illustration, and ended up with my BFA (Bachelor's of Fine Art) with my concentration in illustration, as well as a minor (almost a double major) in Ceramics. In my four years of college I also began working as a muralist, completing 3 large murals (two for churches and one for my Dad), and did a number of resume padding public artworks, including working as one of two lead painters on a giant fiberglass jaguar, for Jacksonville's Big Cats charity drive. Since I graduated I can count the number of times I've picked up my pencil and sketchbook on one hand. I have practically ignored my art for over a year and a half, to the point where people are shocked to find out that I'm an artist (that used to be the first thing people learned about me). Funny how that works isn't it? So I have decided to really focus not just on that teaching position, but also on getting an apprenticeship or a job as a shop assistant with one of our many local artists. It seems like a good time to start making art again =0)

Oh dear...

          I could really use a cupcake right now...our church just "let go" our worship and music director and moved me to half-time. As you know, I saw this coming a while ago, and I am actually not upset at all. In fact I am marveling at how God already started taking care of things, even before I knew they needed to be taken care of. Just Friday a dear lady at our church called me up all a twitter because she had found an opening for a part-time art teacher at the local high school and she thought that would be a great opportunity to spend more time with the kids (since a lot of them are getting really into the art program there lately). She sent me the application immediately and I was able to check it out Sunday. Just this morning our pastor broke the news to me that I was to be moved to half time. Honestly, I almost laughed. Amazing how God works =0)

          Still, I would really like a cupcake right now, because now I have to fix up my resume, write a cover letter, and pray really hard that the school district will grant me an emergency credential so I can teach (California is really strict about that). So please be praying for me and that I get this job. I would really like this job, I love art and I love kids, what could be better?

Could potlucks be the answer?

          So we found out that the best solution to our "consumer youth" dilemma was, in fact, potlucks! Having the kids commit to bring a certain part of the meal each week not only helped them to take ownership of the meals and the meetings, it also improved their fellowship time as they all pitched in to help prepare the meal, got them to show up on time (this is huge for our group!), and totally unexpectedly but most excitingly: it improved overall attendance! If the kids have a responsibility in the meeting they are actually way more likely to show up! In the past we have been lucky to have four kids show up on any given night and were really excited when those four started being more consistent. In the last two weeks we actually added two more kids who we hadn't seen in a loooong time, just by asking them to bring something for dinner! Amazing! The kids have even started helping plan the meal for the next week, this time with some humorous results. This week when we started handing out parts for next week's dinner all the kids seemed to want to bring dessert, so we came up with a really fun compromise: we will start this Sunday's meeting half an hour later so everyone can eat dinner before they come and then all the kids are bringing desserts for our "Ultimate Dessert Potluck"! How nifty is that?

         Another really awesome result of all this is increased participation in the Bible study. I know it sounds silly that food would change the dynamic of Bible study, but hear me out. I think it has to do with the increased fellowship time while the kids prepare the meal. They are becoming more and more comfortable and open with each other so they are not as nervous when it comes to discussing difficult topics in our studies. They were really curious and talkative and VERY involved during this week's Bible study where we began exploring who Christ is and what purpose he serves in Grace. The kids asked some really thought-provoking questions, even getting into the complexities of the trinity and Jesus humanity versus His divinity. They were really thinking this week and for the first time in months Hubby and I left the meeting feeling God's hand in it all and being assured that God's Spirit was really moving and working on the hearts of our kids. Often times we leave meetings feeling frustrated and confused, but this week was so different. 

My favorite time of year!

          It's Shoebox time! I love filling shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child. It is my single most favoritest church activity ever! I would fill 50 shoeboxes if I could =0) It's just so much fun. This year our small church managed to put together 35 boxes, some of them literally busting at the seams. We even had a youth fun night where all we did was fill shoeboxes and write letters to the kids who will receive them. Honestly, I think I would get such a kick out of getting a shoebox stuffed with fun little items for Christmas. I was thinking of doing that for my family this year. Just let me loose at the dollar store and LOOK OUT! 

Trying Something New

          One thing Hubby and I have been struggling with since we started working with this youth group is what Mike Pilavachi also mentioned having to overcome when he first began in youth ministry-namely how to get the kids to switch from a consumer mindset to a servant one. It is very disheartening when we do something special, like bringing the kids McDonalds one night for dinner, and instead of them thanking us for doing something special they complain that we should have brought Burger King instead (that one just floored me, I almost had to leave the room to compose myself). To solve that specific problem we are no longer supplying food, but having potluck meals instead, where each kid has to bring something to contribute (this week we're having a barbecue). Another thing we are trying is to get the kids doing more volunteer work. We serve at a feeding kitchen quite often, with the kids being the main servers, which they always seem to really enjoy and they are so gracious to the people they are serving. It's like they're totally different kids when they have a ladle and a casserole in front of them. Last night we tried out something new that might become a monthly event. We got a small group of kids together at about 5:30 and put together bag lunches (sandwich, water, and apple). Then we took them to one of the nearby downtown areas to pass out those bagged meals to the homeless. The kids really rose to the occasion, not only handing out the food but praying for people they met (with a little encouragement, admittedly) and taking time to talk and get to know some of them. We were very proud of them =0) The only problem we ran into was that, in our area, it is a lot harder to find homeless people than one might expect. We know they are there, but the sad thing about where we live is that they are trying really hard to just get rid of them instead of helping them, which makes them hard to locate and help unless you really know where to look. The kids that came with us last night were really excited that they got to help out and I think it will go a long way in helping them to see outside of themselves and into the eyes of a hurting world that needs them. If you have any other ideas that might help us we would love to hear them. We could use all the help we can get!

My Beef With Hollywood

          If I listed all the concerns I have about hollywood this would be a very very long post, but I'm just going to talk about one. Why is it that when child actors reach a certain age where they can start appearing in more than just after school specials and as the sassy little sister/brother, they have to "break out" by taking on roles where they are either serial killers, sleeping around (and revealing ALL), smoking, swearing, and being...what's the term they use nowadays? Edgy. It seems like that's what happens to all the great child actors I used to know and love. They grow up being heroes to impressionable kids a few years younger than them, and then they go and do something totally contrary to what people originally started watching them for, with those same impressionable young minds still watching and being impressed, all in the name of "maturity." Tell me if I'm totally off base here, but when was taking your clothes off in front of the entire world a sign of maturity? Last I checked it was a surefire sign of the "terrible twos" and the reason my husband has to shout "naked baby alert!" every time we're at the beach (because inevitably there will be a naked two-year-old running around screaming sweet freedom while his Mom chases after him/her with the diaper and the pair of pants they buried in the sand a mile back). I know this is starting to sound like one of those "what's wrong with youth today" rants, but what it's mean to be is a question: What is wrong with role models today? And more importantly: Who is telling them this is right? Who is influencing these kids to go down this road? Take, for example, Kiera Knightly. I used to absolutely love her movies. I thought she was so fun, and beautiful, and I was never ever embarrassed to watch her movies with my mom. I loved how in every "making of" feature they always talked about her mom constantly being on set and watching out for her and keeping her grounded. Everyone seemed to have a great deal of respect for her mother, and so did I. I remember telling my husband once that Kiera Knightly was someone who, if I had just happened to meet her, I would have liked to be friends with. Nowadays I don't even go to her movies by myself, let alone with my mother. In fact I have a deep mistrust of her movies now and always check "kids-in-mind" before checking them out for myself. What happened? It seems like now that she's an adult all her movies have some sort of really graphic sex scene (at least one, sometimes more) or really suggestive situations, and one magazine cover was gushing about how awesome it was that she cursed like a sailor. Where did the change happen? Who is it behind the scenes that is egging these kids, some now adults, to become "edgy" so people will "take them seriously as actors"? I've heard that phrase so many times now in interviews with previously squeeky clean stars gone wild. Their excuse is that they do it so people will "take them seriously"...seriously? Maybe I just don't get it. What do you think? Am I just ranting or is this a serious problem? And if so, what can we do about it?

So Burnt Out...

          I try so hard not to get burnt out, that inevitably I do it anyway. I guess it just comes with the job, but it happens so often, and at the most inconvenient times, though I guess any time would be inconvenient, wouldn't it? And I never even realize I'm burnt out until it's way too late. Like today for example. I tricked myself into thinking that I was doing really well and my attitude was positive and everything was going great, and then this morning happened and confirmed what Hubby has been telling me all along-I'm stressed. I woke up in the grouchiest, iciest, painfully angriest of moods this morning and guess who got the full brunt of it? Bingo-poor Hubby. We have since made up and my mood has warmed considerably and I am in more of a daze than anything. I could really use a nap. I should have really seen it coming. The signs were all there, but I was in denial. I haven't slept an entire night through for the last two weeks. Bleh! Well, they say that the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, so I'm on my way. Pray for me, please? And Hubby. He's been pretty stressed out too.

Ultimate Sorry

          Last night at youth group we only had two kids show up, so we decided instead of playing spoons like we had originally planned, to play Sorry, which is perfect for four players. Hubby and I just bought the game last week and played it a couple of times just the two of us and it was really boring, in my opinion. It went by way too fast and we hardly ever actually ran into each other, so it was not as competitive as we had hoped. However, with the full four players the game somehow lasted over an hour! We were running into each other, switching places, thwarting plans, and bumping people back to start at least once a turn. I got way ahead and had three of my players in the home circle and one in the safety zone before anyone else had even two players at home, yet somehow I managed to come in dead last! The kids were absolutely having a blast, thanks in part to Hubby's vengeful play tactics (he was so smug when he won, I wanted to throw my soda at him) and several cans of Mountain Dew (at 7pm! I think their parents hate me at bedtime =0). So remember this kids: 2 is better than 1, and 4 is awesome! Yeah, something like that. I seriously don't know who had more fun, us or the kids. 

I Voted

          I just did my civic duty and voted. It felt good to get that out of the way and now I can sit back, relax and see what happens. It's all in God's hands, so whatever the outcome I will praise Him and keep living the way He tells me to. Good luck to everyone else as they vote, I'm praying for you!

Stay safe tonight!

          Hubby and I don't celebrate Halloween. We try not to broadcast that too much because whenever we mention it people automatically get offended for some reason. Truth is we don't mind other people celebrating the day, we just don't choose to do it ourselves for a number of reasons. It's like when Paul was saying in one of his letters that the Spirit convicts people in different ways, and just because the Spirit convicts someone to (for example) eat only kosher, it does not mean that the people not eating kosher are bad. We even hand out candy to the little kids that come to our apartment so that we don't look like a bunch of meanies, we just don't dress up and decorate and do all that other stuff that goes along with Halloween (except painting pumpkins). 

          We chose not to celebrate Halloween for a number of reasons, foremost of which is that Hubby's mom felt convicted a long time ago not to celebrate it, so Hubby never did growing up. Secondly, but almost more importantly, is that Hubby does not like all the witch and devil and creepy costumes and things associated with it, and there is a very good reason for that. In the states we all see little girls dressed up as cute little witches and babies wearing little horns with curly mustaches drawn on and think its cute and nothing more. Well Hubby grew up in West Africa as a missionary kid and he can tell you first hand that witches are NOT cute, in fact they are terrifying and I personally would never like to meet one (the way he describes them has given me nightmares). And don't even get him started on demons. I was shocked the first time he told me he had personally witnessed demons being cast out of people, but it actually does happen and it is chilling. All that stuff is just too real to Hubby to celebrate it the way people do in the states. Funny thing is, the more research I did, the more I found out that most countries don't celebrate Halloween, not even western countries much like our own. Apparently in those countries its considered a pagan holiday and so is not nationally recognized.

          But like I said before, we do not hold it against anyone for having a Happy Halloween. My own parents still celebrate it, though my mom decided this year to forgo her traditional witch costume (which she has done since I was a baby) and dress up like my sister instead (if you knew my sister, you would understand). So despite the fact that we ourselves will not be celebrating, we are praying that everyone has a safe and happy night tonight =0)

Why do I keep forgetting my camera?

          For the last two weeks I keep forgetting to bring my camera to youth stuff. This is bad. I forgot it for both our Pumpkin painting party, and now our Fall party as well. I'm totally annoyed that I didn't get any pictures whatsoever of these events. I was so good about remembering the camera over the summer, but now I'm not. Grrr! I'm especially annoyed because I already picked out some great scrapbook paper for when I got the pictures developed and now I can't use it! Double Grrr!!!

          All that aside, last night was a blast. One of the moms even came and she had so much fun roasting s'mores and hanging out with her kids. I love it when the moms actually participate in stuff. They always make it that much more fun. It was also handy having her around to tell the kids to clean up when we were done (yay!). I always seem to have trouble getting any of the kids, even the more responsible ones, to help with cleanup. They're happy to make the mess, but they don't want to have to "unmake" it. Hubby says its just because they're kids and kids never want to clean up. I wonder if it's something different, because I did not have this much trouble with other groups I've led in the past. Oh well, someday they will learn just how much fun it is to wield a vacuum cleaner in battle against the dreaded dust bunnies, until then we just need to keep thinking of creative ways to get them off their butts to clean up (like the one time I had them race to see who could pick up the most gummy bears off the grass after our Super Sundae Slip 'n Slide...that was hysterical to watch and effective!).

And so it begins...

          It's time for the "Season of Charlie Brown Holiday Specials" to officially begin. Every year at this time I rent a Charlie Brown holiday special once a month to coincide with my holiday festivities. I don't know why I'm so infatuated with that round-headed kid and his goofy friends, but I cannot get enough of them. This year I decided to bring the youth group in on my weird Peanuts obsession by hosting a holiday party each month to watch them. So fun, so fun. I was really excited last year when I discovered that I was not crazy and there were actually 2 Charlie Brown Christmas specials, but one of them was not as well known and appeared as a special feature on the "official" Charlie Brown Christmas DVD. No one knew what I was talking about for the longest time, because I could not find it anywhere, but now I have proof that it exists! Justice is served and it tastes like chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream =0)

          On another note, I finally downloaded  the only 2 pictures I took at the National Youth Worker's Convention onto my computer so I can share them with you. The first one is me and my husband and my dad and was taken as we were leaving the convention at the very end and I realized I had taken no pictures of us whatsoever (oops!). The second one was taken the first night Lincoln Brewster was playing and I'm kinda embarrassed about it since he mentioned the second time he led worship that one of his pet peeves is people taking pictures during worship. But if you look at it you can tell that he had just finished playing a song, so there was nothing playing when I took the picture. That's ok then, right? Yeah, it doesn't make me feel any better about it either, but it was such a cool picture I had to share it.

::Insert heavy, frustrated, disheartened sigh here::

          I have a confession to make: I lost my cool on Sunday evening and might have done the last thing I ever wanted to do as a youth leader - I think I hurt a kid's feelings. We have a student who, when we arrived last year, loved to find and push buttons (as in finding what annoys people the most and doing it repeatedly to get a rise out of them). Even if it really was not a "button" to someone, he would push and push and push until it became one. He seemed to thrive on negative attention, and he was one of our best attenders. He came to every single meeting (usually late), even when no one else was there. So, Hubby and I made every effort to ignore the "button pushing" and instead find ways to give him positive attention. Over the last year we saw him mature beyond our wildest imaginings, and turn into a leader. The biggest leap in maturity came when he was out of school for the summer and away from all the negative influence of the "cool guys" at school. We were so impressed at the way he naturally took on a leadership position in the group, even going so far as picking up all the other high school kids Sunday mornings so they wouldn't miss church, that we gave him an official leadership position on our two-person student leadership team. 

          Then something happened. Little by little, after school started, he started pushing buttons again. Come Sunday evening, out of nowhere, he was pushing buttons like he never had before. I was totally unprepared for that kind of behavior, but managed to keep my patience through the youth group meeting. But when we all went out for coffee afterwards and he kept pushing more and more, something in me finally snapped and I started to tease him mercilessly. I did not even realize I was doing it until Hubby (God bless him for catching me when I fall!) started to come to his rescue. Even though his attitude did not change for the rest of the evening, I could tell some damage had been done. 

          Later that night I called him up to apologize and admit that I had crossed a line. I hope that went a little ways to patch things up between us, but I know that I am going to have to really work to earn back all of his trust again. I'm so glad that God is not like me and cuts people down when they need building up the most. Have you ever done something like that that you wish you could take back?

I Shall Call It...Mini Me!

          We painted pumpkins on Wednesday night with our youth group and it was a big hit. All the girls seemed to want to paint kitty faces on theirs, while all the guys were getting really artsy, with rainbow, splatter, and story-in-the-round designs. My husband always tries to go for a biblical theme when he paints or carves pumpkins with the kids, so this time he went with the theme of death and resurrection, specifically the whole "gone for three days" thing. So he had Jonah inside the whale, Jonah being spit out of the whale (and being a guy he had to include the whale vomit), Lazarus coming out of the tomb, Jesus on the cross, and finally, Jesus coming out of the tomb. It was pretty neat when it was all finished. Too bad we used really cheap paint and it started peeling as soon as it dried, so he's gonna fix it up with my good paints at home when he gets a chance. 

          Meanwhile I made a self-portrait pumpkin person (as you can see in the picture). I think its a pretty good likeness, don't you? Hehe. The girls in our group actually recognized the outfit I painted on her, it being one of my Sunday morning staples. My cat seemed to really like my "pumpkin buddy" as well. I got some really cute pictures of her checking it out.

          I don't know if I mentioned this, but our youth group actually meets twice a week. On Sunday nights we have our Bible study and on Wednesday nights we have a fun night, hence the pumpkin painting. Next week we're going to roast s'mores and watch It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown. I still cannot believe how many of the kids in our youth group have not seen that movie. It's a tragedy.

Funnest Date Night Ever!!!

          My husband and I make a point of going on a date at least once a week. Just to make sure we never miss it, we set aside every Tuesday as our designated "date night." Oftentimes we spend all Tuesday emailing back and forth making plans for our special evening. Sometimes we have a quiet night at home with a specially planned meal, and sometimes we go out to a fancy dinner, and sometimes we just do something fun. Last night was the best ever!

          Hubby was so excited to see how much housework I got done on my day off on Monday (I was excited too!) that he told me that I could plan the whole "date night" myself. So this is what I planned: I wanted to go pick out pumpkins to paint with the kids next youth group meeting, eat dinner at the barn, and I wanted to see our local high school's play. So...

          We got to the barn and found out they only had snacks (not a problem! We're good at improvising). So we picked out our pumpkins (I got three small ones to make a pumpkin snowman!) and then picked out a really tasty pie (apple raspberry, what a combo!). Then we went to a nearby restaurant right near the beach for dinner. We still had a ton of time when we were done eating, so we went for a little walk on the beach. Then Hubby started to feel sleepy and went to get some coffee so he could stay awake for the play. Meanwhile, I found a swingset and swung my heart out while I watched the sunset (you have not lived until you've tried it for yourself!). We walked for a little while longer after that and saw the funniest thing. Apparently it was dinner time for the marine life, which is amusing to see. There was a fleet of sea lions rounding up the fish under the water and when they would come near the surface all the pelicans would dive-bomb for fish in droves. It was hysterical. Then we went to the play, which was really fun, and went home and had pie. 

          What a great night =0)

BTW I did Bible study a little differently on Sunday than originally planned, and though I don't know if the kids learned any great theological truths (there were a lot of technical difficulties and rabbit trails) they had fun, and maybe they'll think about it more later. Sometimes its the lessons where you don't think anyone is paying attention that you find out later someone learned something. We shall see, and we'll keep refining until we get a good grasp on what to do for Bible study from now on.

Maybe I'm trying too hard

So I went to prepare the Bible study for our youth group meeting this week and hit a wall. We use this DVD series that introduces the theme with a high school drama episode (very dramatic) and then a well established youth speaker explains the message and then we have a discussion and look up Bible verses and stuff. Its been workng great since I got the first volume last year, so I was really excited now that we get to start the next volume. But when I started watching it just didn't seem to work. The drama got really lame at what should have been the most serious part, there was nothing in it the kids could actually relate too, and the message afterwards was really weak and did nothing to really explain the questions brought up by the drama. Now I'm stuck, because I just don't know if I want to keep using this curriculum, and I don't know what to use in place of it. Hmmm. I feel like we do too much talking at the kids in our group and don't let them really work through things like we should. I'm thinking of trying a sort of discussion thing this week, maybe finding a current event or something and having the kids ask questions that the event raised and try and figure it out together, instead of feeding them a bite-sized answer like we usually do.

Funny thing is that this is the way my dad used to do things when he was my youth leader. Maybe I should have paid better attention. I guess I just feel like I'm not doing enough if I don't have all the answers for our kids, and so I feel like I need to spit out an answer, instead of the Jesus thing of helping them figure it out themselves by asking another question. 

Well, wish me luck! I'll let you know how this goes.

Is it Christmas yet?

I like Christmas. It's my favorite time of year. I wish it would get here faster...

Yeah that's all I got for today. See ya tomorrow!

He really meant it!!!

How much can one person's life change in the course of one weekend? I can now honestly tell you: entirely. I just got back Monday evening from this year's National Youth Worker's Convention in Sacramento, and I think Tic Long put it best when he said that this weekend (and one speaker in particular) left us all feeling...wrecked. After last week, learning that I was in danger of losing my job, I went into the weekend hoping for a fresh word from God. What I was really hoping for was a word of encouragement and something to keep me persevering, what I got was an entirely new way of living and a new way of looking at the scriptures. The story of Jesus is becoming more and more real to me as I consider this one crazy question: "What if e meant what He said?" We hear all these sermons interpreting what Jesus said and what He meant by it, but do we ever really consider that Jesus actually said just what He meant? I was really challenged to believe things this weekend that really made no sense to me, but then it really does make sense when put in the context of Christ. When Jesus told the rich young ruler to sell all his "stuff" and follow Him, he ACTUALLY meant it! How many of us would have gone running after the poor guy with something like "Hey man, if this is too hard why not start with just a little bit" or something like that, but Jesus, even though He loved the man, let him walk away. 

When I got back from the conference, with my new copy of Shane Claiborne's Irresistible Revolution in hand and a fresh (and Seriously Ridiculous) word from God in my heart, I decided it was time to start reading the gospels again. With new eyes I'm reading the words of Jesus and realizing that he really did mean everything he said. He totally meant the whole "turn the other cheek" thing, and not just in schoolyard fights and backhanded compliments, He meant it for bigger things as well. (This is where I really had a head-on collision with Jesus that left me really shaken and reeling) What if we turned the other cheek after September 11, and instead of bombing the heck out of people, we went to where they were and loved them? A lot of us would have died, a lot of us would have been prisoners, but how many would have been saved (in the biblical sense of the word) by an action like that? Jesus really did mean it, both figuratively AND literally when He said "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it" Matthew 16:25. 

I stopped in front of a little display our church has in the entryway for all the troops we have in Iraq and Afghanistan and something struck me. All over the board in different sports was the quote "Freedom isn't Free" and I was totally dumbstruck, because IT IS!!! Jesus gives us freedom so freely, and we don't have to do anything to earn it! Maybe its not free to be safe, but nowhere does Jesus ever call us to be safe, does He? He tells us to give up our very lives, how safe is that?

What would I do without him?

God gave me a real treasure when He introduced me to my husband. God knows what He's doing for sure, because He knew that I can handle stress only to a certain point, and then I explode, but Hubby always seems to know just what to say to bring it all back into focus. Just when I was really freaking out today, he sent me these words:

"We'll get through all of this, honey. Its just a rocky time right now, and it's a time when our faith is being tested, and a time when the devil is trying to stop all the good that is starting to happen in the church. Times like this can either make us stronger, more faithful Christians, or we can allow ourselves to be weakened. Just remember Job and what he told his wife: "Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" and then remember, "Why do I put myself in jeopardy and take my life in my hands? Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him." We just really need to look to God right now, and trust Him in all situations, good and bad, because He is in control, and it's in His hands, not ours."

Sometimes I wonder if Hubby should be doing this job and not me =0)

Budget Woes

Ignorance is not bliss, because once the ignorance is gone, you cannot even remember the bliss. I might lose my job. Someone just popped my little ignorant bubble a few minutes ago and I'm still reeling. I've been denying to myself for a long time that the budget crisis at our church would ever end up with someone getting canned, but its time to face facts. I'm scared and I don't know what to do. I guess I'm not off to a good start with this blog thing if I'm already talking doom and gloom. Oh bother. Please pray for me. Either that a new job will present itself, or that I won't lose the one I already have.

A Successful Day

I always love the feeling I get when I check off the last item on my "to do" list before its time to leave at 4pm. There is something very satisfying about actually leaving on time, rather than sitting there and plugging away until my husband calls and tells me I have to come home, even if I'm not done. It's really hard for me to leave things unfinished, I actually lose sleep over it; not because I'm afraid it won't get done, but I will lay awake thinking of just how to do it perfectly. 

Today was one of those days where I actually finished early enough that I could catch up on some stuff that I had fallen behind in, namely my Youth Leader blog. I realized yesterday that I had not posted in it for over a month, which means that the kids have probably stopped checking it (doh!). So now I have to start plugging it all over again, grr. But on the bright side, it will probably help that I revamped things and made them look a lot cooler today when I updated. 

My usual Friday ritual is to bring my kids at the local high school pizza for lunch. They get a break from cafeteria food, and I get a chance to see what's been happening in their lives since I last saw them on Sunday, which is usually a lot. Today I noticed one of our girls reading a Ranma 1/2 graphic novel and a wave of my own high school memories started flooding back to me. I can't really pinpoint when it was that my obsession with anime ended, but I think it was sometime in college, probably because it was not as readily available as it had been in high school. I had a friend who actually supplied me with any anime my heart desired, and even some it didn't. I still cannot believe how addicted I was to that stuff. Well apparently the fad has not died out yet, because high schoolers are still packing their backpacks with copies of funny Japanese comics (oh I would have so got mauled for calling them comics in high school!). Its funny how much has NOT changed in the 5 years I have been out of high school. 

Why I Need a Blog

I used to be sooooo against blogging. I had a bunch of friends in college who were obsessed with blogging and always made me read their entries. Everyday it was the same thing: "Whoa is me! Life is awful! No one understands me! My life is meaningless!" And I'm not exaggerating. The sad thing was that these friends were absolutely giddy about their posts. It just didn't make sense to me, so I tried to avoid the blogging scene for a long time. 

About a year ago I started up a blog to keep the kids in my youth group updated on what was happening and to get them thinking about something other than Myspace when they went online. I posted interesting news articles, comic strips, and Youtube videos; some because they were just funny and some because it got the kids thinking. It is a really great ministry tool. But there are certain things I just cannot discuss on that blog. For instance, whenever the kids do something funny that they might find terribly embarrassing, the only person I can tell is my husband. Its just not right! The world needs to know just how goofy and great my kids are, without actually knowing their names, because that would be very irresponsible of me. 

So the long and short of this is that so many hilarious, ironic, and interesting things happen in youth ministry, and it just seemed selfish of me to keep it all to myself. I hope you will enjoy laughing, thinking, and praying with me as I now start my second year in full-time youth ministry.