::Insert heavy, frustrated, disheartened sigh here::

          I have a confession to make: I lost my cool on Sunday evening and might have done the last thing I ever wanted to do as a youth leader - I think I hurt a kid's feelings. We have a student who, when we arrived last year, loved to find and push buttons (as in finding what annoys people the most and doing it repeatedly to get a rise out of them). Even if it really was not a "button" to someone, he would push and push and push until it became one. He seemed to thrive on negative attention, and he was one of our best attenders. He came to every single meeting (usually late), even when no one else was there. So, Hubby and I made every effort to ignore the "button pushing" and instead find ways to give him positive attention. Over the last year we saw him mature beyond our wildest imaginings, and turn into a leader. The biggest leap in maturity came when he was out of school for the summer and away from all the negative influence of the "cool guys" at school. We were so impressed at the way he naturally took on a leadership position in the group, even going so far as picking up all the other high school kids Sunday mornings so they wouldn't miss church, that we gave him an official leadership position on our two-person student leadership team. 

          Then something happened. Little by little, after school started, he started pushing buttons again. Come Sunday evening, out of nowhere, he was pushing buttons like he never had before. I was totally unprepared for that kind of behavior, but managed to keep my patience through the youth group meeting. But when we all went out for coffee afterwards and he kept pushing more and more, something in me finally snapped and I started to tease him mercilessly. I did not even realize I was doing it until Hubby (God bless him for catching me when I fall!) started to come to his rescue. Even though his attitude did not change for the rest of the evening, I could tell some damage had been done. 

          Later that night I called him up to apologize and admit that I had crossed a line. I hope that went a little ways to patch things up between us, but I know that I am going to have to really work to earn back all of his trust again. I'm so glad that God is not like me and cuts people down when they need building up the most. Have you ever done something like that that you wish you could take back?